How to Develop the Ability to Process Your Emotions

Emotions can be all-consuming. You only need to look at a toddler to see the intensity of an emotion when something goes wrong.

It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant it may seem, for them, it’s the end of the world.

I remember reading that kids are just little people with big emotions. They’re emotions are valid and to be respected. As we grow up, we learn to process those emotions so that we can still function in society.

Just imagine having a meltdown in the supermarket because the store ran out of bananas, wouldn’t that make for an interesting day.

However many of us still act this way internally even if we don’t show it. So it’s important we develop the ability to process our emotions so that it doesn’t create dis-ease in the body.

This week my work is a balance of doing 1:1 health coaching and administration. Admin encompasses everything from marketing to accounting. It’s not my favourite part about having a business but it needs to get done.

So each week, I dedicated office hours for actioning my admin tasks. But for some reason, my family just assume I can drop everything to spend time with them because I work from home.

As much as I love the work I do, I will always prioritise my family so when I’m put in a position to choose, I feel this pang of guilt.

So today I was feeling really frustrated because I’d been interrupted for a few weeks in a row and I was getting fed up but I didn’t say anything.

My stomach getting all twisted inside because I wasn’t expressing how I was feeling.

When I did try to, I couldn’t find the words.

So I used a method that helped me process my emotions so that I could communicate with my family in a way that didn’t make them wrong.

I was able to set boundaries lovingly so that they understood that they were still important but they had to respect my time too.

So what’s the method Merly?

It’s called the NOW method.

N stands for name

One of the fundamentals of processing our emotions is to be able to identify and name the emotion we’re feeling.

To help you find the vocabulary for your emotion, you can refer to the emotion wheel.

Once you have named the emotion, notice how it feels in your body.

Do you feel hot or cold?
Heavy or light?
In your mind’s eye does it have a colour and shape?

The more you can describe it, the better this exercise works.

O stands for open

Step 2 is about opening up and allowing the emotions to be.

Open up your body to allow the emotion to be there for as long as you need to.

You can use your breath to visualise where the emotion is residing, it could be in your shoulders, jaw, fist and stomach.

Where do you feel you lock up, tense or experience the feeling most?

W stands for write

Lastly, once you have observed the emotion in your body, write it down.

Explore with curiosity and enquire within. You can ask questions like what caused the emotion to rise, how is the emotion impacting your thoughts and where to now?

The NOW Method is such a useful tool to help us process our emotions and begin to reduce some of the stress in our daily life.

Being able to manage stress is one of the core basics for balancing our hormones naturally. For more stress busting tips, you can download The Core Basics Guide for Balancing Hormones Naturally here.

The daily meditation practice for women with no time

You’re probably reading this now because you already know the benefits of having a daily meditation practice or have heard that meditation could help you manage your stress levels but feel like it’s an unattainable goal. Even the phrase “daily meditation practice” already seems time consuming and daunting to say the least, right?

But what if I said to you that implementing this special daily mediation practice is going to give you more time?

Yes, you read that right.

Often when we are time poor, we’re usually overwhelmed, over-stressed and over-worked. Our focus and productivity wanes. our modern busyness of life leads us to be completely unaware how much we are wasting because we’re committed to keep on moving, even if we’re dragging our feet by lunchtime.

Why meditation?

It’s free but also meditation can give you more time.

How? Meditation allows you to focus your attention inwards, cutting out the unnecessary clutter that could be causing confusion and indecision. When you have clarity and dominion over your thoughts, confusion dissipates and a call to action is visible.

If you have only a certain amount of time in the day and during these times you are more productive, you then create more time and have breathing space for the more important things in life like being present with family.

An effective way to incorporate meditation is to adopt what I like to call is the heart-full minute.

  • Put your hand on your heart and take 5 deep breathes. The goal is to focus on feeling the heart beat on the palm of your hands whilst noting your breath going in and out. Feeling your heart pulsate in itself bring your back to life force that is you.
  • You don’t need to think nothing, it’s perfectly normal to have thoughts especially judgmental thoughts about if you’re doing the heart-full minute correctly or what you need to be doing straight after the meditation.
  • To bring your focus back, start noting your breathe. So as you breathe in, say in your head you’re breathing in and so forth as you breathe out. Noting is a great tool to bring your attention back to stillness when you catch yourself carried away with your thoughts.

You might think a minute isn’t that long but you’d be surprised. The heart-full minute can be done anywhere and anytime, so many opportunities such as while you’re on the toilet, waiting at the grocery line, breastfeeding or having a shower.

Do this enough times and you get the compounding effect that meditation will get easier and easier the more you do it.

Finding practical ways to reduce stress in your life is a great foundation to help you balance your hormones and boost your fertility. For more tips to detox your mind and body, you can download my free 7 Day Hormone Cleanse here.

5 practical work from home tips for a productive day

You might have fantasised in the past about working from home but now this might actually be your new reality and realised it’s not all it’s all cracked out to be. Maybe you have the kids at home too, so trying to find the balance of doing productive work whilst keeping the kids entertained is darn challenging or you could be feeling unmotivated to work because your worried about family and given these uncertain times can be quite overwhelming.

One way of coping and making a smooth transition to working from home is focusing on what you can control. One thing is to think about how you start your day.

As a work from home veteran, here are 5 practical things you can do:

1) Wake up an hour earlier to get some work done before the kids wake up. If you don’t have kids, take full advantage and use this time to focus on your health like doing a YouTube workout, meditate or declutter a corner of a room. All this helps boost your health and wellbeing and you’re more likely to feel you can tackle the day ahead, no matter how challenging.

2) Create blocks of time to do productive work with pockets the day for regular breaks. If possible, have a big bottle of water and snacks in your designated office space to stop you going to the kitchen to stare aimlessly into your fridge for hours at a time.

3) Let friends and family know your office hours. Just because you’re working from home doesn’t mean you have all the time in the world to chat. Being constantly interrupted will have you feeling defeated by the end of the day. So set yourself up for success by setting boundaries and be vigilant.

4) Schedule everything in your diary. Whether you like to use a paper diary or an online calendar, make sure anything that is going to take more than 5 minutes to do is recorded. Our brains have so much to contend with these days, so give yourself some breathing space by not having to remember everything. Use the tools to help you.

5) The Law of Diminishing Intent basically means the longer you wait to do something, the less likely you are going to do it. So tackle the hard stuff as early on in the day as you can. You might choose to do an easy task first to ease you into work mode while you have a coffee but if you have a few calls your avoiding, or a report that’s killing ya life, schedule it in before lunch. Trust me, lunch will taste so much better.

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