How to Develop the Ability to Process Your Emotions

Emotions can be all-consuming. You only need to look at a toddler to see the intensity of an emotion when something goes wrong.

It doesn’t matter how small or insignificant it may seem, for them, it’s the end of the world.

I remember reading that kids are just little people with big emotions. They’re emotions are valid and to be respected. As we grow up, we learn to process those emotions so that we can still function in society.

Just imagine having a meltdown in the supermarket because the store ran out of bananas, wouldn’t that make for an interesting day.

However many of us still act this way internally even if we don’t show it. So it’s important we develop the ability to process our emotions so that it doesn’t create dis-ease in the body.

This week my work is a balance of doing 1:1 health coaching and administration. Admin encompasses everything from marketing to accounting. It’s not my favourite part about having a business but it needs to get done.

So each week, I dedicated office hours for actioning my admin tasks. But for some reason, my family just assume I can drop everything to spend time with them because I work from home.

As much as I love the work I do, I will always prioritise my family so when I’m put in a position to choose, I feel this pang of guilt.

So today I was feeling really frustrated because I’d been interrupted for a few weeks in a row and I was getting fed up but I didn’t say anything.

My stomach getting all twisted inside because I wasn’t expressing how I was feeling.

When I did try to, I couldn’t find the words.

So I used a method that helped me process my emotions so that I could communicate with my family in a way that didn’t make them wrong.

I was able to set boundaries lovingly so that they understood that they were still important but they had to respect my time too.

So what’s the method Merly?

It’s called the NOW method.

N stands for name

One of the fundamentals of processing our emotions is to be able to identify and name the emotion we’re feeling.

To help you find the vocabulary for your emotion, you can refer to the emotion wheel.

Once you have named the emotion, notice how it feels in your body.

Do you feel hot or cold?
Heavy or light?
In your mind’s eye does it have a colour and shape?

The more you can describe it, the better this exercise works.

O stands for open

Step 2 is about opening up and allowing the emotions to be.

Open up your body to allow the emotion to be there for as long as you need to.

You can use your breath to visualise where the emotion is residing, it could be in your shoulders, jaw, fist and stomach.

Where do you feel you lock up, tense or experience the feeling most?

W stands for write

Lastly, once you have observed the emotion in your body, write it down.

Explore with curiosity and enquire within. You can ask questions like what caused the emotion to rise, how is the emotion impacting your thoughts and where to now?

The NOW Method is such a useful tool to help us process our emotions and begin to reduce some of the stress in our daily life.

Being able to manage stress is one of the core basics for balancing our hormones naturally. For more stress busting tips, you can download The Core Basics Guide for Balancing Hormones Naturally here.

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